In this final draft I have worked on making the dialogue flow better and tryng to keep the action true to the age of the protagonists. Read on and let me know if you like Sarah, Ally, Matt, and Robbo. Even give me an insight into your thoughts about this foursome and their future relationships.
Terry
Feral Utes and Borrowed Boots 1495 words
The
wheel wrenched in her hands and Sarah felt the front of the Toyota dip. Metal
screeched against the road, and she caught a glimpse of the front wheel
spearing off into the grass. A battle for control began as Jake’s old work truck
slewed onto the verge. A tap of the brakes and then a desperate pump of the
pedal did nothing, it went to the floor. The handbrake didn’t work, but she
tugged on it anyway. Jake had tormented her from when they married until he
moved out six months ago, and today she’d hoped for a new start without him. Yet
it seemed he controlled her again. Would she never be free?
It
wasn’t her first choice to drive to the other side of the city to work, but all
other job applications had failed. Now with a rusted out old bomb collapsed on
the side of the road, she had missed this opportunity too. Did he have to take
everything? Her car, her phone, her money, her dignity. Pride would not allow
her to ask her parents for help; ‘he’s no good.’ they’d told her when she ran
off with him five years ago.
Cars
swept past, no one stopped to help. A carload of louts hung out the windows and
jeered, laughing at her as they flew past. She was late, and without a phone
she couldn’t let work know she’d broken down. The highway roared with traffic,
and when trucks flashed by the pressure of their slipstreams almost blew her
over. Flagging them down had no effect. It started to rain and she decided to wait
in the car until it stopped.
The
drizzle eased, and she tried again. Two B-double semi trailers buzzed past nose
to tail. Their wheels whipped slush into a fine mist and drenched her. Spotting
her reflection in the glass, Sarah broke down. Her borrowed suit looked ruined,
and her hair a mess. Clay had stuck to the heels of her boots. She tried to
remove it by rubbing them together, but it only smeared. She yanked the door
open, slumped into the seat, and slammed it shut. What could she do? Sarah
rested her head and arms on the steering wheel, and her energy drained. Where
was Prince Charming when she needed him? Sarah drifted into misery.
The
wheel thumped onto the tray, she heard the sound, but it didn’t register.
‘Hello
Miss.’ the voice was male. ‘Are you okay?’
She
turned to see where it was coming from. ‘Not really, I’ve got a bit of car
trouble.'
‘Yeah,
I can see that. I was working the tractor at the other end of the field when I
saw you stopped here. I guessed you didn’t have a phone when I saw you trying
to flag someone down.
‘Supposed
to be first day at work, but now I’ve lost it.’ She said.
‘My
name’s Matt by the way.’
‘Sorry,’
she shook her head. ‘Hello Matt, I’m Sarah.’
‘Want
to call them?’ He held out his phone.
‘No
thanks, it’s gone.’ Her shoulders drooped. ‘All I had to do was get there on
time.’
‘Look,
I’ve called my mate Robbo, he will come out and tow this to his workshop.’ He
pointed to the buildings about a mile away. ‘My wife and I live over there, I’ve
just called her. She said to come up and dry off in the kitchen. Maybe you can
call someone, or if you want to wait until she does the school run, Ally can
drive to wherever you want to go.’
‘Thanks’.
Sarah said. Prince Charming he might be, but not hers. He had a wife and kids
too, but she was glad for his offer.
The
farmhouse was warm and homey. With the introductions over Matt kissed Ally and went
back to the tractor.
‘Here’s
a couple of towels.’ Ally said. ‘Bathroom’s the third door on your right. Pass
me your jacket and I’ll give it a brush, it’ll dry on the chair by the fire.’
‘Thanks.
I thought I’d be stuck there for hours, either that or I’d have to try and walk
back to town.’
‘Not
easy in those heels.’
‘No,
and I don’t know how I’m going to tell Jo about her suit, I borrowed this
outfit for the job.’
‘Go
and get yourself cleaned up and I’ll put some coffee on. Anyway, what type of
job was it?’ Ally asked.
‘Oh,
bookkeeper in Richmond, but it’s history now.’
Sarah
looked at the woman in the mirror and wondered if she’d ever see her smile
again. The water felt good, and she held her hands in the bowl soaking up the
heat. The room was bright and airy. Toys littered the shelf around the bath and
the home had a welcoming feel. She sensed that Matt and Ally had made the place
special, and she envied their position.
Sarah
combed her hair with her fingers and did her best to tidy it. ‘It’ll have to
do.’ She smoothed her skirt, and followed the aroma of coffee and warm scones
back to the kitchen.
‘You
look better.’ Ally smiled and motioned for Sarah to sit at the bench. ‘Do you
mind? I have to get this stew on for dinner. It’s not very adventurous but it’s
what Matt likes, and the kids will eat it too.’
‘You’re
very kind, thanks.’ She cupped her hands around her coffee and looked over the
rim to the neat heaps of chopped vegetables. She couldn’t remember the last time
she’d cooked for more than one.
‘Not
at all, I’m glad of the company. With all the jobs around the farm, I find it
hard to get out, other than seeing some of the parents at school. Oh, and I see
our friends at football on the weekends. But some girl company during the week
is good.’
A
friendship seeded, and the day disappeared. At 2.30 they were in Ally’s four
wheel drive and heading into town to pick up the children from school.
‘What
are you going to do now? Ally asked.
‘I
don’t know. This job was it, and now it’s gone. I’ll go back into the grinder
again I guess and try to find something, again.’
‘Like
what?’
‘I
don’t know.’ Sarah said. ‘You know I used to be so confident, I ran the office in
my family’s crash repairs where I worked until I got married. We moved here and
everything went wrong. I thought I was marrying the man of my dreams. I never expected
it to turn into a nightmare. This is probably for the best, I don’t think I
could work inside that glass box in the city anyway.’
Ally
said nothing more about the job. Too soon they were in the Industrial area and parked
in front of Robbo’s workshop.
‘I’ll
go in and get him. His place is full of girly calendars and blokes with one
track minds. You don’t have to put up with anymore grief today?’
An
age passed as she sat there, and occasionally she noticed a heavy thumb and
forefinger prise the venetian blinds apart. It unsettled her, and Sarah knew
they had to be talking about her, about how hopeless she was.
Ally
and a man in his thirties emerged from the darkness. His hands slapped at the dust
on the front of his jeans, and his tee shirt showed that he worked out. It was
strange, but he was the only panel shop bloke she’d seen with polished boots.
His dark hair neatly cropped and had a hint of curl. In this light he looked a
bit like Hugh Jackman and unlike any of the crashies she’d ever met before. Sarah
slid out of her seat to meet him.
‘Hello
I’m Robbo, Ally’s brother.’ He said extending his right hand, she took it. His
grip was firm, and yet his touch was warm and gentle. ‘I can’t do much with
your car today, in fact it’s probably better off going to the wreckers, for
what you’d spend on fixing it.’
‘That
good eh?’
‘Sorry.’
He screwed his face up, and then smiled. ‘Ally tells me you’re a bookkeeper.’
Sarah
liked the way his nose wrinkled at the bridge when he grinned. ‘Yeah, but what’s
that got to do with fixing my car? Are you offering me a job?’
‘Maybe,
I’m up to my ears in it. Bookkeeping I mean, and I’ve been looking for someone
to manage it for a while now. I just haven’t advertised. Anyway, could you be tempted?
Sarah
felt her shoulders lift and her posture straighten. She suppressed a smile. ‘When
would I start?’
‘I’m going home soon.
I can drop you off, and pick you up at seven thirty tomorrow morning. How’s that
for a deal?’
Sarah looked down, don’t be hasty make him wait a bit. A minute passed, she held her hand
out... He took it. ‘Deal.’ She said.
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