After my nightmare I have a new character meet - VOSS

After a nightmare Sunday night I woke with the shivers, but it did give me an Idea for a character in a detective story. I'll let Barry Voss introduce himself in his own way.

I walked into the bathroom, Estelle my wife had just stepped out the shower, at first I wondered why she would be showering at this time of the day. She yelled at me to leave. I didn’t wait long for my answer to why. Tony Peters, defence lawyer and former schoolyard sweetheart met me at the bedroom door. All boxer-shorts and suspenders he looked like he’d been caught out by the head boy. I guessed this was not the first time, he had seen the colour of my sheets but it would the last.

‘Voss,’ He said.

I waited for him to search his gilt edged brain for something original and unscripted. There was nothing. Word around the court is that the slippery bastard needs a team of underlings making bullets for him to fire. I had been up against him more than once, he could twist and turn like a scalded snake, but he only won as half many as he lost. I would evil eye the crim during his cross examination of my testimony. My thing was to make faces at the bloke in the dock while Slippery Peters painted these pricks to depict something like a scene on the ceiling of the Cysteine Chapel. Gimme a break. Now here he is in my house, screwing my wife, in my bed and he’s lost for words. I want to grab him by the balls and twist.

‘God what’s that stink?’ He said.

‘Oh that’s me. Here hold this,’ He took my jacket. ‘Recyclers pulled a body out of the garbage exchange, looks like it had been in a wheelie-bin for weeks. Gut burst when the ME rolled it over, don’t know who she is yet, but your holding onto part of her now.’

It must have been instinct because he threw my jacket across the room. ‘Oh fuck he said it’s all over me now.’ He went to push past only I blocked his path. Estelle, come and ask your Neanderthal to move before I have to deal with him.’

He probably didn’t hear her answer because I hit him with a right cross to his solar plexus and caught his face with my knee as he doubled over. I wiped the gunk off my suit with his shirt and trousers, shoved all I owned into a suitcase and left. That was ten years ago.