Thursday 30 August 2012

Les Gillespie's Gold, story update

Yesterday my writers group Wordsmiths of Melton reviewed and critiqued my first chapter and I'm delighted with the response. Apart from a few punctuation errors and an occasional long sentence, there is not a lot to do to correct the first draft.

Here are a few excerpts from the group's comments.

  • You have managed to capture my imagination and I am dying to know more. A receipt and a rhyme - intriguing. Julee Stillman

  • A great into to the story, and look forward to reading more. Sonia Doherty

  • Everyone loves a mystery especially one that has an air of excitement and danger attached to it. You have stated the answers lay in the cryptic wording and it is my guess that most readers will attempt to solve the puzzle and relate their assumptions to the circumstances as they occur. Frank Ince

  • Well old chum, the Wordsmiths has done you a power of good. This is the best piece of writing from you that I've read so far. A very good start to what I feel will be a great strong story.     Les Stillman
I'm trundling along with the next chapters and have set myself a task of about four thousand words a week for September which will take me into the first quarter of the book. Exciting times on the keyboard.

You can get an insight into the ghost of Les Gillespie (without me giving the story away) in previous posts on my blog.

Thanks for the visit.

Sunday 26 August 2012

Old Man

Not a lot of inspiration this week other than a rhyme that began early one morning and went to paper and into the computer today. It needs more work so I will develop it more later.


He was grey
He was old
Lines of his face
His story told
 
 
Spotted with age
Hands bony thin
And his life’s story
Written on him
 
 
In his mind
Memory so sharp
No tears in these eyes
Love beats his heart
 
On the porch
He sits all alone
Tea in a cup
Fondling a phone
 
It rings and
He answers again
Smile on his lips
Hello old friend
 
He shuffles
And he creaks
No time for grumbles
Friends he seeks
 
 
In the morning
From quarter to ten
You’ll see him
Phoning a friend
 
He’s laughing
Another story to tell
Old friends denying
Entry to hell
 
Is he lonely
Thinks he might
Kisses her photo
And turns off the light
 

Friday 24 August 2012

Frank Ince's story "Melanie rents a room" published.

Nice to see a report on Facebook today by Frank letting his friends know his story has been published in Narrator Magazine. Printed back in May, Frank had considered the story to be languishing on a desk somewhere, because he hadn't heard from the publisher. However, in between sending and contacting them, he'd changed his e-mail address they were unable to let him know.

Congratulations Frank, you continue to tread a path for others to follow.

If you know Frank, you can send him a message of congratulations by posting in the comments box below.

Thursday 23 August 2012

Author Interviews with Merelene Fawdry

Drop over to Merlene's Blog to read some interesting Author Interviews, and you can find lots of  interesting links to writing and publishing sites.

Click on the link: http://merlenefawdry.blogspot.com.au/

Thursday 16 August 2012

Les Gillespies Gold 'progress at last'

I am pleased to report that I have finished my first chapter of the new novel. I had to make a start  today because I am finding it difficult to keep making notes without setting them into chapters.

Here is the Synopsis, it will change as the story develops, but for now is what I'm following.


Joe and Laura Gillespie travel to Europe to seek answers to questions about Laura’s past, returning home to appear at a coronial inquest into the death of Lieutenant Gordon Montgomery-Sanders. Sanders, was found dead, in suspicious circumstances, at Hammond in South Australia. He was the prime suspect, in the murder of three of his cohorts, and Queensland man, Jimmy Symes.

While researching Laura’s family in England, she gets word to say she’s a nominee for an Order of Australia award, and they decide to return home early. Joe checks over his correspondence and is intrigued about a request for a meeting with Charles Winkler, the CEO of Raydor Exploration. The mystery of the little rhyme his father would sing to him has infiltrated his thoughts all trip.

Jeff and Tilly, change their careers because of the outcome of Joe’s Heart attack, and beginning spending more time together. They both want to progress their relationship, but are tentative and reluctant to forego parts of their present lifestyles.

            At Wanooka’s Well, events turn sour, when a geological survey team ignores the owner’s mining rights, and trespasses on the Gillespies land. Showing disregard for sacred sites destroy dreamtime carvings when taking samples. Joe and Jeff employ force to remove the exploration team, and face charges from the police.

            The Inquest becomes front page news as the Nation is swept up in the mystery of Gordon-Spencer’s death and the speculation that he has been sung to death by the aboriginal women, or he succumbed to having a Kundela pointed at him by a Kadaicha Man.

            The Minister of Mines singles the Gillespies out at Laura’s Australia Day presentation and tries to force Joe into accepting the Exploration Company’s offer. Jeff meets the Minister in the Gents and the two get into a pushing and shouting match witnessed by a Journalist.

Saturday 11 August 2012

Budjerra of Reestal River


It was a holiday weekend and Montana’s birthday. Mum had promised her that she could spend the three days camping with her friends. Their family lived on a cattle property along the Reestal River and often camped near a billabong, but this time it was kids only, no grownups allowed. They rode with their gear on the back of dad’s old ute,. He’d loaded firewood and everything they needed for their stay.

          Her Dad built a fire for the barbeque while the kids set up their camp. A circle of stones surrounded the flames, and a round steel plough disc waited for the wood to burn into coals to cook their dinner. Sausages and soft drink waited in the cooler ready to make up their feast. Happy with his work and the sausages sizzling, dad looked around and knowing they were safe headed home.

          Giggling and laughing, they were pleased to be on their own. Swigging down their soft drink, and after a night of telling ghost stories, the girls could feel creepiness in the air. It was time to turn in, but Emily wanted to wash her face and she ran to the water’s edge, the vibrations from her loud footsteps waking the fearsome monster.

Hiding under the water Budjerra waited, Emily kneeled to splash her face, as her fingers touched the water it was Budjerra’s time.

          His head was green and tiny, like a kitten’s head, he had a very long body with a short tail. What no one knew was, he had knives poking out of his back looking like a porcupine. Yellow blood stained puss oozed from his wounds.

          His tongue, it was like the arm of an octopus, it flicked out hitting her leg. Its suckers, leech like began drawing blood threw her flesh. Terrible screams filled the air, and as quickly, as they could the other girls ran to Emily. They saw Budjerra sucking her flesh. Montana grabbed a stick from the fire and waved it under his nose. The flames scorching his tongue, his eyelashes on fire, Budjerra’s tongue released Emily’s leg, dropping her, and in a hiss of bubbles, he was gone. Montana had saved the camp.

           They hurried through the scrub, ending up back at the farmhouse so mum could tend Emily’s wounds. The adults didn’t believe their story and told them not to lie, but the girls weren’t lying. This would be a birthday they would never forget, a horrible night to remember.

Wednesday 8 August 2012

Wordsmiths of Melton

Top day at the writing group today, Thanks to everyone for the advice and help offered for Kundela chapter 8. I will put your suggestions into action tomorrow.

See you all next week.